By Niza Wan Yahya
As with anything in life, having a child in primary school gives you pros and cons. On one hand, you know and are assured that your child is in an official education system handled by trained professionals for half a day every day. This is more systematic and strict compared to kindergarten or nurseries which are more relaxed and conducted with more ‘play’ in mind than education (especially if you’ve had the opportunity to send your kid abroad, like the 1.5 years my son was in a kindergarten in Melbourne).
On the other hand, you are suddenly aware of so much more responsibility and duties. Even if you are just a normal parent and not involved with PIBG (or PTA), you are constantly making sure that your child is keeping up with the class schedule and latest updates. Mornings are a mad rush – everyone is trying to wake up, get dressed and wolf down a quick breakfast so that no tummies are upset a few hours later – and then it’s off to send them off to class before braving the morning traffic. Afternoons are where you either attend to your child, or leave them with a caregiver if you’re a working mom (e.g. maid, transit homes, extended families). At night, you try to squeeze in some quality time before ensuring that tomorrow’s books and tools are in place. And do I even need to mention HOMEWORK?!
So if you’re a new mom with a primary school-going child like me, here are some tips I can share to hopefully help you along:
1. Technology is your best friend
Social media is seriously the best thing ever to hit parenting. Talk to a few parents in your child’s class, get everyone together and create a Whatsapp or FB group to share information and updates. There may be SAHMs who will kindly meet with teachers personally after school and update the other working moms who are unable to be there every day, but there will also be working supermoms who are able to go to the shops and purchase art items in bulk for some kids. Sharing is truly caring – and everyone wins.
2. Make sure everyone gets enough sleep
This is such an obvious point but so hard to practice hard and well. Adults generally need at least the recommended 7-8 hours a day (although some can make do with 6); children need them even more. It’s best to make sure your child gets his or her dinner as early as possible at 7-8pm, let them have some play/homework time and then start tucking them into bed at 9-10pm. And don’t forget that quality of sleep is just as crucial, if not more, than the quantity. So keep the lights dimmed, noise on the down low, and try to get everyone into bed early rather than the wee hours of the night.
3. Make time for reading time
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Photo credit – Syaiful Aznan
Kids love routine, and nothing says loving routine more than this one. There are also countless studies out there which shows how a small habit can make a large impact on your kid’s development – reading before bed. This is a habit I’ve tried to inculcate very early on – although my son didn’t truly pick up on it until he was about 5 or 6 – and it’s his favourite part of the day now. He even refuses to read stories during the day because he says reading time is with Mama at night! (Susahlah pulak!)
4. Have a system and stick to it
Choose a system, your supporting cast, and stick to it – not like mad, but as a closely followed guideline (some days off doesn’t hurt). Dinner by 8pm, homework cleared, books arranged and lights out by 10pm, alarm at 6.30am, no iPad during school nights, and so on. As mentioned previously, children (as well as harried parents) are calmed by routine.
5. Get a support system
Don’t try to be a superwoman – you can’t and SHOULD not do it all – get your support system to help and be thankful and support them in return (grandparents, helpers, tuition teachers, etc). If your child is struggling in Bahasa Malaysia, get a tuition teacher to come during the day and help with basic concepts. If your child has swimming classes at night but you have a late meeting, pair up with another parent who can pick up your child and carpool (and you should return the favour when he or she turns out to be late as well one day). Even if you’re a SAHM, use the time when your child is in school to do chores and run errands – but do find some quality time for yourself, either to curl up to read the morning newspaper with your favourite coffee or book an hour body massage! You deserve it – for sure.
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Photo credit – Syaiful Aznan